It can be magical being almost
five years of age, but also a little tough at times.
Going for a walk with a heap
of cousins over the New Year holiday, my youngest son asked me to help him put together
a decoration using a sprig of holy, a twig, some berries and a little violet
coloured flower. The end result was a colourful but very fragile construction
that soon began to fall apart. The little flower ended up on the slide at the
local park, where it was picked up by my son’s four year old cousin, who
plucked the petals off.
At this my youngest began
roaring insults at his cousin. His voice and temper got bigger and bigger and
his face redder and redder. So I took him from a walk and let him shout it out.
When he began to calm down I asked him if he was okay. ‘I’m angry’ he said and began
shouting again.
‘But what about the happy
stuff we did over the holiday?’ I asked when there was another pause in the
shouting. ‘Is there any happiness about the holiday inside you?’
‘There is. But I’m still
angry. Stupid broke my flower.’
We walked on for a bit more
and then my littlest one said. ‘I’m more happy. But I’m still angry. He broke
my flower.’
After a few more steps, my son
stopped and asked me if I wanted to know a secret. I said I did and knelt down
beside him. He put his mouth against my ear and whispered ‘I wanted to cry when
my flower was broke.’ I gave him a hug and was tempted to tell him it’s okay to
cry and it’s okay to be angry but figured he heard me say that often enough
over the years. Instead I asked him how he was doing now. ‘I’m happy,’ he said and
gave me a big smile.
I still don’t know what was
worse for my son - seeing his flower broke, wanting to cry or feeling himself
starting to lose control of his temper – but he had no sooner found the words
to express himself than he went off again to play with his favourite cousin,
the just turned four years old flower breaker. The big cloud had gone and all
was sunshine again.
Talking about our problems and
fears is essential to our wellbeing throughout life from four years of age to a
hundred and four. I can only hope – and trust – my children will keep developing
that skill as the years roll by. So
happy new year everybody. Keep talking, laughing and looking after your friends
and family. For more info on the benefits of having a good social support
network check out the Mayo Clinic article: Social support: Tap this tool to beat stress
You might also want to check
out these articles:
For more on how to look good, feel good and be
in charge of your life as a student at NUI Galway check out Student's Services Health Promotion
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