Monday, 11 March 2013

Sing, Shag, Sing again... Do a Survey...

It is a stark truth that, try as we may to defy Her, the impulse of Mother Nature is to keep each species reproducing hardy and healthy offspring to carry on their genes and dreams into future generations.

Amongst sparrows the fellow most likely to get a mate is he who can sing the longest and loudest. Why? Because his song reflects the strength and endurance of the little fellow, and so, though others may also sing sweetly, only he will be picked for a quick knee trembler in some local bush.

Galway’s hominids likewise have their own seemingly unfair mating rules. Any night of the week one needs only go up Mainguard and Shop Street or to the Sodom and Gomorrah that is Eyre Square and there in all his glory is the Galway √úbermensch himself.

Living only in the moment, free of the censorship and doubts of past, future, social mores and sanity, he is to be found shouting at the stars, with a pint glass in one hand and his dick in the other, trying to piss, sing, and roar, whilst all the while endeavouring to move one foot in front of the other in a vain attempt to go seek a willing bedmate for the evening.

And yet sing as he might the poor fellow will fail to fulfill his biological and evolutionary needs. A shag will elude him…

The fellow needs be pitied, yet instead he is falsely held up to the world as the personification of the life style of the average student in the west of Ireland… This, as we all know, is a slanderous stereotype though a useful one for pundits constantly seeking to undermine students.

However, there are options for students to give a clearer and more honest account of their experiences of third level education and help improve the student educational experience.

The first national student survey is now looking for feedback from first year and final year undergraduates and all taught postgraduates.  

The survey is open from March 4th to 12 April 2013. To complete: Log on to your student email to access and complete the survey which will come from It should only take ten minutes. The data collected will help create a better understanding of learning, development and needs of students in Ireland.

As for the drunk in Eyre Square, chances are he’s not a student at all; he’s probably just some poor ould politician trying to impress folk with his manly prowess…

For more see: student survey


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